INTRODUCTIONMy project director explained to the counselor and me, "Two
subtexts are at work here. The child's subtext blatantly declared
no cooperation. And yours"—she nodded at the counselor—
"spelled out distaste and arrogance. What I'd like you to do now
is sit down and watch the tape of the interview. Watch it carefully!"
We ran the tape of the interview for her, and the counselor
was shocked. "I never realized how tight I was, how rejecting
my whole posture was! No wonder she wouldn't look me in the
eye!"
"At your next session," the director suggested, "why not loosen
up. lean forward, touch the little girl's hand, and let's see what
happens."
A second session was held, and the counselor followed the
director's advice, making an effort to lean forward, and to keep
her posture more relaxed. The child responded by looking up
and making eye contact. But the real turning point was when the
counselor put her hand on top of the child's. It was as if something
in the child melted, and what poured out was exactly what the
counselor had hoped for.
"I thought the counselor's loosening up would change the inter-
view," I told the director, "but I had no idea it would change it
so drastically!"
She nodded. "When two or more people interact, there's always
the obvious text and the more subtle—and incidentally, more
honest—subtext."
The subtext in any exchange is
a mixture of many different elements. In part, it is composed of
each person's body language, posture, hand movements, eye con-
tact, how he or she handles space, and the ability to use subtle