ASPECTS OF POWERforty-five minutes without its seeming excessive. In some parts
of the Middle East, appointments made beyond a week ahead
tend to slip into a hazy future and are often forgotten. If you
show up for an appointment that is not kept, the other party may
not understand your annoyance or the subtext you derive from
being stood up. When North American businessmen do business
in different cultures, they must understand these cultures' different
concepts of time and realize how their subtexts differ from ours.
Understanding the subtexts of time and waiting allows you to
manipulate and insult the other person without saying an insulting
word. It also allows you to show respect. In our society, the amount
of time you keep someone waiting is directly proportional to your
perception of that person's status.
Another subtle subtext of power comes through on the telephone.
How long does it take you to return a phone call? Do you return
the call at all? The telephone can be used in subtle and not so
subtle power ploys. When you meet with a client and the meeting
is interrupted by frequent phone calls, the subtext can be "I'm
an important person." It's a dangerous ploy because it can easily
end up annoying the client.
I once worked with a man who would call a colleague into his
office for a meeting and always manage to be on the phone when
the other arrived. He would wave the colleague to a seat, smile
apologetically, and then keep nodding to the phone for another
five minutes. His colleague would get the subtext: "I'm such a
busy guy, I haven't a moment to myself."
While these games are usually played by people jockeying for
position in the business world, there are many people in power
who do not abuse their strength, who treat their subordinates de-
cently, and who don't allow themselves to be drawn into power
games.