SUBTEXTLack of expression sends a negative subtext—"No one is home."
An expression of any kind sends a positive subtext: joy, anger,
fear, hate, whatever. A smile is the easiest way to mask unhappi-
ness, anger, or disappointment. It sends a pleasant subtext. A
grim look can mask joy and elation; a frown can cover up happiness.
Some of us use more than expressions to mask. Women use
makeup to emphasize their lips and eyes, create a blush on their
cheeks. Men use hair to mask: a full moustache can be a virility
mask; a beard can change the contour of the face, strengthen a
receding chin, add a subtext of wisdom, of cool.
When does masking start? As far as we know, it is present in
early childhood. Most children approach strange adults with solemn
faces and wary eyes, giving little of themselves, holding back
their true feelings. The bright child learns quickly what adults
expect and masks accordingly.
When children discover that their own feelings are not acceptable
to society, they have the choice of changing those feelings or
covering them up—masking. In most cases feelings can't be
changed, so the child covers them up and creates a secret, inner
world of emotions and fantasies.
Teenagers become even more adept at masking as their changing
bodies release a flood of hormones that sharpens their desires
and needs. They don't dare reveal those needs, and yet they are
not nearly as adept at masking as grown-ups. As a compromise,
they usually dredge up the noncommittal mask of childhood, or
hide behind a sullen look. Unfortunately, the subtexts sent out
are not I'm upset, I'm in trouble! but I don't give a damn!
Parents and teachers write off teenage sullenness as typical of
the child at that age, but behind the sullen mask there may be a
sensitive person—too tender, frightened, and vulnerable to face