SUBTEXTbuild them up, and they lose their nervousness and actually do
better. I guess I put on an act, but it encourages them to keep
at it. I turn out some good people that way."
CONTROL
Another aspect of masking is control, something we need in order
to adapt to life in a civilized society. We need to control our
basic desires to take what we want, to do what we want, even to
live and work as we want. The modification of want is what control
is all about.
We learn control at an early age. Hungry babies scream until
the bottle comes, but gradually they learn to control their hunger,
to wait for food at appropriate times. They learn to control their
bladder and bowels as they grow up, then learn to control their
desires and suppress those that are antisocial.
The act of learning control can be pleasant, because along
with control the growing child learns anticipation with all its joys.
The gradual refinement of control and the suppression of drives
and desires are steps to maturity. We even define the subtext of
immaturity as a lack of control.
Immature children who can't or won't learn control are hard to
live with. When they want something, they want it at once. When
they feel angry, they cry or yell or throw a tantrum. When they're
hungry, they beg for food. If they're old enough to get their own
food, they eat erratically with no regard for regular hours.
Gavin was that kind of a child, and not much better as an
adult. He was unlucky enough to have parents who gave in easily
and catered to his lack of control. When he moved out on his