SUBTEXTnot a factor. Joyce Grillo tells of a man referred to her by a
rather conservative corporation. He was very good at his job,
which was in a technical field, and he was in his mid-forties.
"Unfortunately, he knew nothing about clothes and cared even
less. When I met him, he had a rumpled appearance. He needed
a haircut and he was wearing slacks with a tear in them, a worn
plaid sport jacket, a patterned shirt, and a flowered tie!"
Obviously he was aware that something was wrong with how
he looked. He told Ms. Grillo that during his years at the company
people had subtly mentioned his appearance. "I know I'm no
fancy dresser, and I guess that's why the company hired you to
talk to me, but I just don't want to spend much on my clothes.
It's not worth it. I've got some money put aside, but my wife
wants new kitchen cabinets and that's where the money's going
to go!"
After some discussion, he settled on a budget that he was willing
to spend on clothes. He and Ms. Grillo went shopping together
and picked out a charcoal gray suit, white shirt, dark maroon
tie, and new black shoes—and then to a barber for a conservative
haircut. "Dressed in his new clothes," Ms. Grillo said with a
smile, "he looked good—a very attractive man, though you wouldn't
have guessed it before. The rumpled look was gone, along with
its old subtext."
A week later he called Ms. Grillo. "You know," he told her,
"I have to tell you something. I went to a meeting with some
new people and they treated me differently from the way I've
always been treated. They listened to me and I felt good about
it. The same thing has been happening at the plant. People are
relating to me better. It's a whole new experience!
"About the money for the kitchen cabinets, my wife and I agreed