SUBTEXTWhen I pressed him about this, he said, "It's not so much to
change the way I feel as it is to convince everyone else that I'm
really dealing with things. The trouble is, no matter how I dress,
it's not too hard for people to read me, to see the subtext, 'I
can't handle things today!' Thank God it doesn't happen often."
Another friend, the director of a national foundation, says she
faces the same problem. "There are times when I simply can't
cope with things, and usually they are the exact times I don't
want the people who work for me to know I can't manage."
"What do you do?"
She shrugged. "I become someone else. If I have a meeting
and I want to look very efficient, I decide I'll be a Sigourney
Weaver type. That takes a smart suit and a beautiful blouse and
pin. If I have to coax a donation out of a big shot, I'll be Blanche
DuBois with a few ruffles, and if I go from the office right to
someone's house for dinner, I can be Doris Day. I use pretenses
to send out a particular image."
Selecting an image and trying to live up to it may not help
much in actually dealing with the problem at hand, but it could
send out a subtext that you are dealing just fine, thereby gaining
the confidence of those around you. Still, there are better ways.
While playacting can work for some, other methods are necessary
for people who often have problems dealing with situations, and
therefore send out a subtext of inadequacy.
Today's world is an overwhelming one, and many people find
it difficult and often impossible to handle the economic and political
upheavals of our time, the turmoil of our troubled cities—and,
on a more intimate level, the difficulties of the workplace or personal
life.
All these problems create anxieties which we may often feel
helpless to handle. Others then sense a subtext of helplessness