TOUCHY SITUATIONSIn any business situation, the first possibility of touch comes
with the handshake. It is the first step on meeting a new person
or greeting an old friend, an associate, or even an antagonist.
The hands come together, and the subtext of their union tells us
a great deal about the person we are dealing with.
A limp handshake always sends a subtext of disinterest. The
handshake that offers only the front half of the fingers says, "I
don't want to become too involved with you." Particular to men
is the bone-cracking "macho" shake, which sends out a subtext
of aggressiveness and an eagerness to compete.
Women in the corporate world have their own concern with
the handshake. It is only in recent years that they have be-
gun to shake hands. The necessity to do so is undeniable, but a
cultural reluctance still lingers on. Women who want to ap-
pear strong and competent, but not too masculine, have to re-
learn the entire technique of shaking hands. The old-fashioned
woman's shake gave only half the hand, the fingers, and was
diffident. Unfortunately, it sent out a weak and uncertain sub-
text.
The proper female handshake for today is one in which the
entire hand is given to the shaker, and the shaker's hand is grasped
in a firm but not hard shake. The hand is then released, but not
too promptly. The subtext is competence and control.
Too prompt a release sends a message of not wishing to get
involved. Between two men, holding the hand for a longer time,
four or five seconds, sends a subtext of I like you. Between a
woman and a man, too long a period of holding the shake signals
a subtext of personal, even sexual, interest.
So, the handshaker, man or woman, must learn to follow a
middle course—not too hard, not too flabby, not too long, not
too short.