SUBTEXTdon't know you, I like you." Part of those subtexts was the fleeting
quality of both touches. Touching needn't be intrusive to be mean-
ingful. In fact, had the salesperson touched the customer at the
wrong moment, the entire deal could have been blown. In any
business situation, touch can play an important part, either positive
or negative. You must know when to touch and how to touch.THE RULES OF THE GAME
A point to remember is that there is a strong sexual implication
behind touching. While the touch of a salesperson can project a
subtext of trust, in a different situation it may project harassment
and sexual intrusion. A brief touch of the hand on a shoulder,
or even an arm casually placed around a shoulder is acceptable
in business, provided it is man-to-man. If a man touches a woman,
the touch must be lighter, briefer, and less intrusive than an
arm around the shoulder. There is the ever-present sexual subtext
in any relationship between men and women. This subtext can
be devastating—or useful, depending on many factors.
There is a hierarchy to touching. While a man touching a woman
must do it briefly and lightly, a woman touching a man can hold
the touch longer. It can be heavier, but the woman, too, must
be aware of the sexual subtext.
The right to touch someone in our society is largely determined
by status. Someone of higher status may touch someone of lower
status. The president may touch the CEO, the CEO may touch
the lower executive, the executives may touch the workers. The
secretary may not touch the executive—unless they have worked
together for a long time and there is an easy companionship between
them.