SUBTEXTawakened a touch-starved population to the importance of touch.
But the pendulum swung back in the eighties, and now in the
closing years of the century we miss that easy touching. We run
the risk of becoming touch starved again, and the subtext of touch
becomes even more important in any relationship.
People who experience massage for the first time often overreact.
They attribute much more meaning to it than it actually has. But
still, it is, in a way, the ultimate touch. As beneficial as it may
be to the muscles, it is even more so to the mind. We prosper
from our psychological reaction to the massager's hands.
I witnessed how moving touch can be when I was teaching at
the New School for Social Research in New York City. An older
student, a parole officer in the New York City Correction System,
described the incident.
"One of my parolees had been convicted of molesting a child.
It was about the fifth time we met. We got together at a coffee
shop, and I was satisfied that he was keeping his nose clean.
Then, as we left, I put my arm around his shoulder.
"To my surprise and embarrassment, he broke down and began
to cry. When he had pulled himself together, he told me that
this was the first time since he had been convicted that anyone
had touched him. It opened the floodgates!"
Sometimes touch can open the floodgates, as it did in this case,
and at other times it can break down resistance. A story told to
me by a young Chicago lawyer bears this out. She had a young
woman for a client, a woman who had been accused of shoplifting.
Getting this client to give any information about the incident was
very difficult. Guilt, shame, and fear combined to keep her silent.
"I was convinced that if she could tell me her entire story, I
could help her. Obviously she was withholding important informa-
tion because she wasn't sure of me.