TOUCHY SITUATIONS"A partner of mine who had come into the library where we
were talking drew me aside and said, 'I think I know what your
problem is. You're talking to her from three feet away, across
the table. Look, take a chair on her side of the table and for
God's sake, relax. You're too uptight!'
"I did what he suggested, and there was still no change in my
client. Then, at one point, I was so intent on what I was saying
that I leaned forward and put my hand on hers. Well! What a
difference! She looked up at me for the first time and met my
eyes. Then she began talking, and it was just what I needed to
hear."THE CULTURAL CONNECTION
Whatever subtext touching can induce, we must remember that
there is a cultural connection to the practice of touch. Some cultures
favor it; others seem to avoid touching as much as possible. The
English and Germans are considered poor touchers, while the
Spanish, Italians, Israelis, and Arabs have always seemed to savor
touching. There are cultures in which touching is a very important
part of communication. For example, a great deal of touching
goes on during any conversation in the Middle East.
This culturally based reluctance or desire to touch can change
as the society evolves. Italian men used to walk through the streets
holding hands, but just a few years ago Roger Youman, an editor
at TV Guide, visited Italy and in an article in The New York
Times Magazine commented that you don't see men holding hands
in Italy anymore.
Children still do. Italian women hold hands, link arms, or walk
with arms around each other. But "Italian men rarely do so, very