BODY LANGUAGE: EYES, HEAD, AND HANDS
If anyone were to doubt the strength of the subtext behind eye
contact, a statement from an Israeli Army officer should put that
doubt to rest. Lieutenant Colonel Ysrael of the occupied West
Bank told The New York Times that on most days he and his
men face a battle of eyes, Israeli eyes against Palestinian eyes,
looks meant to kill against glances meant to intimidate, darting
glances against blank stares, eyes begging for a little friendship
meeting eyes round with fear. It is what the soldiers call "the
war of the eyes."
The most piercing and chilling looks come from the Palestinian
teenagers, according to Colonel Ysrael. "Even if you give them
a daring, intimidating look, they stare right back at you with
self-confidence. Their parents are different. You feel that you
can negotiate with their eyes. The eyes say you can even shake
my hand."
The most interesting looks come from the Arab girls, according
to another soldier, Lieutenant Eldad, a twenty-three-year-old.
"They are very interested. They tease you, but they are embar-
rassed."
What a world of emotions expressed only with the eyes!THE RULES OF THE GAME
There are definite rules for eye contact. There is what one sociologist
has called "the moral looking time," the length of time you can
hold eye contact with a stranger without sending a particular mes-
sage or offending or disturbing that person. Making eye contact
for too long a period can be disconcerting, even threatening. The
subtext of caring and interest becomes distorted.
However, failing to make eye contact sends the disturbing subtext