SUBTEXTthey are talking to the boss. In the States, workers can look the
boss in the eye unflinchingly.
Some societies favor prolonged eye contact and are uneasy when
it is broken too soon. I once had some dealings with a young
Liberian businessman who worked for Firestone. He was very
angry with an executive in my company who was trying to firm
up a deal with him. "I don't trust that man!" he told me.
"He's very honest and sincere," I protested.
The Liberian shook his head. "He doesn't keep looking me in
the eye."
I began to see the light. "In this country, we feel it's rude to
keep staring into someone's eyes," I tried to explain.
He brushed my explanation aside. "In my country you look a
person straight in the eye as long as you talk to him. Anything
else is dishonest!"
I don't think I ever convinced him that the executive was an
honest man, and by the end of our talk he was beginning to
doubt me. Such was the power of his own cultural upbringing.STONEWALLING IT
When I was teaching nonverbal communication, a young man in
one of my classes came to me after class and said, "I've got a
real problem in communication. Maybe you can help me."
I asked what the problem was, and he said, "It's at work. I'll
talk to a customer, and I know I'm saying everything right, but
after a while it's as if a stone wall comes up between us. He'll
just turn off.
"And it's not only work. I'm single, and I hang out at the bars
pretty often. I know what you've said about eye contact, and I