BODY LANGUAGE: EYES, HEAD, AND HANDS
learning the facts about subtext, nodding, eye contact, gesture,
and personal space can help them relate to other people in their
private life and in the workplace.
Eye contact and head nodding are two important elements in
subtextual communication. Gestures are a third. The wrong gesture
can confuse and annoy. At a boardroom meeting once, for example,
the CEO of the company gave some good advice about dealing
with the representatives of another company. "I want to finesse
them on this deal, and I think we ought to use a form of quiet
diplomacy."
But even as he said it, he pounded the table in front of him
with his fist. The subtext of the gesture didn't match the text of
his message, and we all left the room confused about what he
meant. His words were placating, but the table pounding was
aggressive. What did he want us to do?
This same CEO, shortly before the company went bankrupt,
assured his employees that their jobs were safe, and that the
company was on a firm foundation. As he talked, however, his
left hand was clenched so tightly that the knuckles showed white.
His employees heard his words, but they also understood the
subtext of tension that his clenched fist conveyed, and the next
day they all began to get their resumes together.
AUTOMATIC GESTURES
The gestures we make are sometimes deliberate, but more often
they are made on an unconscious level. We are not aware of
what we are doing. If we hesitate in our speech or grasp for a
word, our gestures tend to become more eloquent, as if the gestures
themselves are a substitute for lost words.