SUBTEXTAsk someone to repeat something, and he or she will often
add gestures that weren't there before. It's as if the gestures help
you to understand—and they do. When you want someone to
like you or believe what you are saying, you will tend to use
more gestures, realizing, on an unconscious level, that the gestures
clarify and convince.
The tight fist the CEO used under pressure was an unconscious
gesture that gave away the truth. It was made without thinking,
and its subtext contradicted the words he used. The same sort of
unconscious gesture is the nose rub. A speaker is about to lie or
make an outrageous statement, and the finger automatically strokes
the nose.
These automatic gestures, just because they are made without
thinking, tend to send a more honest subtext than our words.
Watch a politician make campaign promises he cannot fulfill and
you will usually see that unbidden nose rub. Watch an executive
make predictions he knows are wrong, and the same nose rub
occurs—unless, of course, the politician and the executive know
about these gestures and restrain them.
Different subtexts can be sent by the same gesture, depending
on whether a man or woman uses it. There are basic differences
between men and women in regard to emotions and mental outlook.
This doesn't mean that men are less articulate or women more
emotional, nor are attributes such as aggression, intuition, gentle-
ness, or pragmatism limited to just one sex. However, many people
believe these attributes are sex-linked, and this belief affects the
way they perceive the subtexts of men and women.
A woman may be brought up to believe that extravagant gestures
are not feminine, and therefore it would be wrong for her to use
them in a business setting. A man may be taught that it isn't