BODY LANGUAGE: EYES, HEAD, AND HANDS
Stroking the arm of a chair, fingering a glass or a pen or even
absently stroking part of your body, an arm or a leg, sends a
subtext of loneliness, a need for comfort.
But a controlled use of objects can be of value. It can discharge
nervous energy in a positive fashion. The key to this is that the
object used must be an appropriate one. A pen or pencil with a
pad of paper is particularly appropriate in a boardroom. The use
of objects like these signals that you are making notes and are
abreast of things.
These objects can be involved in elaborate rituals to help absorb
nervousness. Aligning the pad and pencil, tapping the pencil once
or twice against the teeth (thoughtfulness), removing your eyeglasses
and replacing them, even using them to point—all these little
rituals have their use. But it is best to rehearse and limit these
movements so that they do not become nervous mannerisms them-
selves.
One woman executive makes a routine of removing her glasses
when someone makes a statement she disagrees with, tapping
her teeth with the temple, frowning, and replacing her glasses.
The subtext: "I don't really believe what you've said."
Another CEO will stand up after hearing a statement he doesn't
like, pause dramatically while taking up his pencil and pad, make
a note, then turn to face the person with whom he disagrees.
This sends an intimidating and unnerving subtext.
SYMBOLIC GESTURES
Symbolic gestures can also carry subtexts. In Europe, during the
recent great changes in the communist countries, a constant gesture