marriage. 73
gathered to sing and welcome her. Almost overcome with shyness and apprehen-
sion, she was made to sit near her husband and compete with him in finding some
silver rings in a platter of turmeric water. Whichever partner won this game was
said to be likely to dominate in the marriage. It is rare for a veiled and shy bride to
win, and Munni, too, lost the competition. Then the couple were taken inside the
house and told to feed each other some rice pudding. Embarrassed and awkward at-
tempts ended when Amar Singh ran out of the house. Finally, Munni’s mother-in-
law escorted her to a decorated cot, left, and locked her in the room. Clutching her
veil, Munni apprehensively awaited her husband. He came in quietly, after the house
was silent, and put out the lamp.
Modesty required that she try to fend him off and succumb only after great
protestation (even an experienced girl must feign modesty), but Munni was sixteen
at her gaunaceremony, and her introduction to her husband was not traumatic.
Some younger girls have been genuinely terrified of their husbands, and their
gaunanights have involved virtual rape. One Brahman girl, Kamladevi, who met
her husband when she was just thirteen, described her gaunaas follows:
I had my gaunawhen I was still little; I hadn’t started bathing yet. My bhabhitold
me about sex and what to expect; I was really frightened. I came to Nimkhera and
stayed for three days. The first night I slept with Amma [her husband ’s grand-
mother]. The second night Jiji [her husband ’s cousin’s wife] took me into the
house and told me to sleep there. She said she ’d be coming in shortly. She spread
the blankets on the bed, and then she went out and locked the door from outside.
I was really scared; I cowered near the door. I didn’t know it, but he [her husband]
had gone in before and hidden in the dark near the hearth. He came out then and
grabbed hold of me. I let him do whatever he wanted to do; I just clenched my sari
between my teeth so I wouldn’t cry out. But I cried a lot anyway, and there was lots
of blood. In the morning I changed my sari before I came out of the room, and
bundled the dirty sari up and hid it from everyone. I had a fever; and I was so sick
that some people criticized him for sleeping with such a young and weak girl. My
brother came to get me on the third day and took me home.Munni stayed in her husband ’s home for a week before her father and a group of
male relatives came to fetch her. During the week she became acquainted with her
husband and was viewed by all his female relatives and friends. Each woman paid
her a small sum for the privilege of looking under her veil at her shy face with down-
cast eyes. All commented on her complexion (they said she was fair) and on the
clothing she had brought. She spoke almost nothing to anyone but her own little