which is important to him? Certificates and diplomas may mean he values success
and acknowledgement. Beautiful paintings may mean he appreciates creativity and
aesthetics. Paintings of scenery and the outdoors could indicate that he enjoys being
in nature or being at peace. All of these give us a clearer picture of James’ personal
values. It’s these personal values that drive him to do what he does. The money may
merely be an outcome of his work and may not necessarily reflect these values. Bear
this in mind when you look for signs of your own personal value system.
Another aspect to consider is your spending habits. When you have spare cash –
what do you spend it on? Music could mean that relaxation or creativity is important
to you. Buying clothes could indicate that grooming is meaningful or, being the best
you can be, is vital to you. These are just examples and each scenario will be
different for each person. Only you will know which underlying values are important
to you in each case.
The way you live your life provides good clues as to what you value. If you say your
children are important to you yet you spend very little time with them, acknowledge
that perhaps your career aspirations may give you more meaning. Look at the kinds
of holidays you take and the way you spend your leisure time. All of this gives you
clues about your personal values.
Journal work
Answer this question:
What must I have in my life in order to be fulfilled?Write whatever comes into your mind and spend at least 30 minutes
on it. Allow yourself to get into the flow of your answer and don’t
stop until you feel it’s complete.Be careful when identifying your values: make sure you are not picking values that
are socially acceptable but not really yours. Maybe integrity is preached about
regularly in your church but this may not mean it’s a top value of yours. It may still
be important to you but perhaps not one of your top three. Watch your feelings
carefully – you will feel congruent when you list true values – and perhaps a little
uncomfortable when you list adopted, socially-accepted values.
Have a look at your weekly activities. What does this tell you about your values? If
you play a lot of sport, what’s driving you? Do you have a need to look good? Does
the need to achieve drive you? Or, is your need to be healthy your main motivator?
You only ever do something when you find personal value in doing it. You can