The Majesty of Self.......................................................................
Even after one first awakens and even continuously
knows the self for a long while, it is easy to forget who
you really are when you are too concerned with the
world.
I remember when our Sangha started its latest
dissolution phase on January 2nd. I felt upset and
confused the first day and possibly even the second.
But then, the pull came from within to go deep inside
once again: and for three days I felt near continuous
ecstasy and bliss, but still really on the surface,
permeating my body and my sense of presence.
As the losses continued, and I dropped Satsang
because so few were coming, there was a sense of
aloneness and even sadness. I no longer had as many
emails to respond to, nor had I a need to prepare for
Saturday evening Satsangs. Instead, I just performed a
backlog of medical reports and sort of enjoyed a
vacation from doing.
Then this morning, “It” came back; the ‘I-sense’
came back in a very powerful way, which seemed to
have been lost due to involvement in the world,
Satsangs and relationships; as well as a lostness in my
inner states as a reaction to these external events. It
is not as if I lost the sense of ‘I-ness’ completely, but it