having wasted so much of my life in service to
someone else’s truth, someone else’s ideas, beliefs,
opinions about how I should be, what I should be, who
I should be. Rage at being so out of touch with myself,
so untrusting of myself.
There has been deep despair, waves of absolute
terror, confusion, doubt, uncertainty...as I question
everything, hold to nothing...and shake and cry...
More On Robert:...................................................................
Some think there is a great distance between
Bhakta and Jnana: only in the outward form. Though
Robert is called a Jnani even in the Ramana Ashram, I
remember his famous story of meeting Ramana. I do
not know whether it occurred when he first met him,
or later when walking around Arunachala.
Robert said this story with great passion; I was
there at a Satsang: He was electric. He sat on the edge
of his chair perched somewhat forward and looked
upwards and into the distance, as if he were again
seeing Ramana.
He said Ramana and a group of people walked
towards him and suddenly he felt complete surrender