Self-Realization and Other Awakenings

for Robert to direct me. When Robert left Los Angeles,
I stopped doing altogether and just rested in myself.
It is with some of these non-doing people that a
teacher tends to spend more time, because he and
they feel rapid changes taking place within them,
away from the noise of the group. It is also with them
that the teacher can be more of him or herself, in his
own emptiness, acceptance and love, all held in
silence. When some people discover how much time
the teacher spends with these people compared with
them, they again feel jealous. This is especially the
case for the type-A doers who are making Satsang
healthy and happening. They feel cheated in a sense;
they are doing so much for the teacher and the Sangha
and in their minds and judgment their teacher is
spending more time, for whatever reason, with
someone else who is doing so little in comparison.
You see, it is not a matter of how much time one
spends in spiritual activities, but how much time one
spends with the guru and within one’s own self, and
you cannot trade activities to support the Sangha with
closeness to the teacher. The openness of true
surrender is felt by the teacher and automatically
attracts him or her. True surrender lights a fire of
devotion both in the student and the guru.
What I learned subsequently, but did not know at
the time, I needed to better contain my relationships