I disagreed, believing, based on my own
experience, that there was no ego, no I-entity, so how
could it evolve? What I felt evolved, was not the ego,
but various sub processes that were supposed to
comprise the ego, such as the ability to learn a
language or mathematics, the abilities to cope with
stress, as well as the development of various ego
defenses, which were actually processes that directed
attention, awareness of the developing person’s
consciousness. That is, consciousness itself was
evolving and creating the individual, not the other way
around.
I held at that time that much of spirituality in
terms of beliefs and practices were actually defenses
against uncontrolled emotions and fears, conscious
ways of avoiding the human condition. In this way, I
agreed with that portion of the ‘transpersonalists’
viewpoints. That is, spirituality, self-investigations,
meditation, japa, prayer, belief in God, etc., all really
could be defenses against feeling unwanted,
frightening, disabling emotions and fears, and such
practices, without a secure Self would never result in
awakening.
I do believe that identification with either the
“witness” or with the various states of emptiness and
Voids is so easily turned into defenses against being
human.
darren dugan
(Darren Dugan)
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