Self-Realization and Other Awakenings

extreme danger, vulnerability, with no protection, no
security anywhere.
The other thing that might happen is that when he
or she whom you depend on expresses very deep
neediness; it brings out your own neediness in glaring
visibility. It ignites your buried neediness, and the
deeper the neediness expressed by the other, the
deeper your own neediness is felt, evoking a fear that
you will feel needier, and thus less secure than you
have ever before felt in your life, except maybe as an
infant, and that is too frightening a situation to
contemplate.
There is the fear you might be stuck in that
neediness forever, forever bound to another needy
child, forever insecure, lost, unprotected.
But you see, that is a story you have created based
on past abandonment experiences as an infant and
child, and everyone has had dozens if not hundreds of
abandonment experiences as a child. It is part of
growing up and growing separate. Yet so few want to
relive this dependency, even though it is key to
leveling the grandiosity and narcissism of one’s own
need to feel self-contained and self-healing, grown up.
The real “healing” that most all of us need, is to
feel the neediness, the smallness, the impotence
thoroughly and completely for a long, long time, and