Self-Realization and Other Awakenings

I wanted them to feel their (my) neediness. I wanted
them to suffer the way I was suffering. I wanted them
to fear being rejected by me. Basically, I had
identified with certain feelings within myself and I
projected these feelings onto two of my closest friends
and behaved in such a way that they would almost be
forced to feel what I was feeling.
It was almost sadistic the way I felt. I really
wanted them to suffer, to totally identify with me in
my suffering and I didn't care how much it hurt them.
I was shocked at how twisted all of this felt and
even more shocked that I liked how powerful, how
omnipotent it made me feel.
It felt good to confess it, to be open about it; this
helped me to just accept it as another feeling, another
movement within my sense of presence.
My Response:
This is called projective identification. We hurt in
some way and the only way we feel free to open to
another in communication, is if we are sure they share
our own pain. We create that pain in them, so that we
feel close to them. Our hurt is conveyed to them by
our behaviors. When we see they share our pain, we
feel close and there is a shared love.