I did not do it today, because Red is one of Kerima's
favorite cats and she was at work. She would want to
be present at his death as we both have been with all
of our cats. Wish him well dear friends.
My Evolving "Depression".....................................................
Now it is a vast inner emptiness, self-illumined,
entirely merged with the outer emptiness of the
world, through which the depression passes. It flows
through the viscera and muscles of my body, and
through the larger sense of presence like a vast ship
slowly moving through an empty sea. No bliss, no
ecstacy, just the energy field of depression, moving
slowly, embracing the entirety of my presence; an
amazing experience, unobscured by any other
phenomena. The whole universe is pervaded by
sadness.
Everything still, calm, unmoving, except the loss of
Little Red, scouring my soul.
Even the personhood of Ed is a ghostly presence in
the emptiness, like a cloud, no longer self-aware, just
another object.