Self-Realization and Other Awakenings

yearning and neediness I feel sometimes, is a prelude
to a deepening of this love, and it seems that there
are no limits to how large it could grow.
Already I have been astounded each time my love
for her grew another step, but each step upwards in
intensity, was followed by a plateau, and a
diminishment of the intensity, which was again
followed, almost as if I fell in love with her again, and
the intensity would grow, and grow, and the quality of
my love would change, becoming ever more fluid and
vacuous, until it filled the emptiness that is me with a
constant sweet ecstasy. And so was it too with her.
More importantly, we both discovered that an
awareness of these energies made an awareness of the
‘I Am’ sensation first felt as my heart alighting, then
gradually developing into a sense of presence, a kind
of astral body of a new sort that interpenetrated my
and her physical bodies, but also gradually expanded
to include the external world, and in our mutual sense
of presence, we incorporated each other.
The movement of love gave vitality to my sense of
presence, my 'I Am', purified it, rarefied it, made it
more subtle, and more powerful. It is a constant
unfolding. ‘I Am’ is Turiya, the fourth state that
interpenetrates and supports all the other states of
consciousness, including that of the body, the mind,
the dream state and deep sleep. All are penetrated by