‘I Am’, divine love so exquisite. I say divine love only
because it seemed so vast, so powerful, so beyond
anything I had experienced before that it seemed to
transcend anything “personal,” at least at that time.
Later, even that vast love became “me”; became Ed in
the first person, and I began to own the divinity as me.
I finally understood that neither of my previous
awakenings had involved experiencing Turiya, the
Fourth State of consciousness; the ‘I Am’. I had gone
directly to the Absolute, entirely beyond
consciousness, but now I was returning to explore
another, the most vital level of consciousness and
understand the true nature of humanity and Self-
Realization.
The Self as Other: Self-Realization..........................................
Our relationship was stormy to say the least, as I
felt like a man who wanted Rene as my wife. I could
only feel my desire for her, to love and possess her,
even though I was aware of her living situation with
her husband and children. She felt this as her own
desire to leave him, but also as a pressure from me.
We had frequent breakups for any number of
reasons, perhaps 40 over a two year period. It was