The Definitive Book of Body LanguageLet us assume, for example, that you asked someone to do a
small favour for you and that they had forgotten to do it
When you ask them for the result, they slap either their fore-
head or back of the neck, as if they were symbolically beating
themselves. Although slapping of the head is used to commu-
nicate forgetfulness, it's important to watch whether they slap
the forehead or neck. If they slap their forehead, they signal
that they are not intimidated by you mentioning their forget-
fulness. When they slap the back of the neck to satisfy the
raised erector pillae muscles, however, it tells you that you are
literally a 'pain-in-the-neck' for mentioning it. If the person
slaps their rear end however...
Gerard Nierenberg, of the Negotiation Institute in New
York, found that those who habitually rub the back of the
neck have a tendency to be negative or critical, whereas those
who habitually rub their foreheads to non-verbalise an error
tend to be more open and easy-going.
Punishing oneself by
slapping oneselfAcquiring the ability to interpret hand-to-face gestures accu-
rately in a given set of circumstances takes time and observation.
When a person uses any of the hand-to-face gestures discussed
in this chapter, it's reasonable to assume a negative thought has
entered his mind. The question is, however, what is the negative
thought? It could be doubt, deceit, uncertainty, exaggeration,
apprehension or outright lying. The real skill is the ability to
interpret which negative is the correct one. This can best be done
by an analysis of the gestures preceding the hand-to-face gesture
and interpreting it in context.