The Definitive Book of Body Languagesurprised at how many gestures you make and how often you
fiddle with things and you'll feel as if everyone around is
seeing it all too. Remember that most people are completely
unaware of what their bodies are doing and they're so busy
trying to make an impression on you that they are not con-
sciously noticing what you are doing. It may seem strange at
first to consciously have your palms open and keep steady eye
contact if you've spent your life keeping your hands in your
pockets or holding hands with yourself and looking away.
You may ask, 'How do I watch someone's body language
while thinking about my own body language and trying to con-
centrate on what we're talking about?' Remember that your
brain is already programmed to read many body language
signals so all you are doing is learning consciously to read the
signals and messages. It's like riding a bicycle for the first time
— it feels a little scary at the start and you might take an occa-
sional tumble but before long you'll be riding like a pro.
Some people may feel that learning body language skills is
manipulative or insincere, but learning to be proficient at
reading it and using it is no different to wearing certain types
of clothes, using certain language or telling stories that put
you in the best light. The difference here is that it won't
happen unconsciously and you'll make a better impression on
others. If you're a man, remember that women are reading and
decoding your body language whether you realise it or not, so
learning how it's done can give you an equal footing. Without
effective body language you can be like a spaghetti Western —
the lips don't match the words and the viewers are constantly
confused or switch channels.
Finally, here is a summary of the keys points for making a
positive body language impression on others.
The Six Secrets of Attractive Body LanguageFace: Have an animated face and make smiling a part of your
regular repertoire. Make sure you flash your teeth.