The Definitive Book of Body Language

The Definitive Book of Body Language

welcome them and feels forced to shake hands. Under these

circumstances, salespeople are advised that it is better to wait

for the other person to initiate the handshake and, if it is not

forthcoming, use a small head-nod as the greeting. In some

countries, shaking hands with a woman is still an uncertain

practice (for example, in many Muslim countries it would be

considered rude to do so; instead a small head-nod is accept-

able), but it's now been found that women who initiate a firm

handshake are rated — in most places — as more open-minded

and make better first impressions.

How Dominance and Control Are

Communicated

Considering what has already been said about the impact of

the Palm-Up and Palm-Down gestures, let's explore their rele-

vance in handshaking.

In Roman times, two leaders would meet and greet each

other with what amounted to a standing version of modern

arm wrestling. If one leader was stronger than the other, his

hand would finish above the other's hand in what became

known as the Upper Hand position.

Let's assume that you have just met someone for the first

time and you greet each other with a handshake. One of three

basic attitudes is subconsciously transmitted:

1. Dominance: 'He is trying to dominate me. I'd better be
   cautious.'


2. Submission: 'I can dominate this person. He'll do what I
   want.'


3. Equality: 'I feel comfortable with this person.'

These attitudes are sent and received without our being aware
of them, but they can have an immediate impact on the
outcome of any meeting. In the 1970s we documented the
effect of these handshake techniques in our business skills