The Definitive Book of Body Language

The Definitive Book of Body Language

How to Create Rapport

There are two key ingredients for creating rapport in a hand-

shake. First, make sure that yours and the other person's palms

are in the vertical position so that no one is dominant or sub!

missive. Second, apply the same pressure you receive. This

means that if, on a firmness scale of 1-10, your handshake

registers a 7 but the other person is only a 5, you'll need to

back off 20% in strength. If their grip is a 9 and yours is a

7, you'll need to increase your grip by 20%. If you were

meeting a group of ten people, you'd probably need to make

several adjustments of angle and intensity to create a feeling

of rapport with everyone and to stay on an equal footing

with each person. Also keep in mind that the average male

hand can exert around twice the power of the average female

hand, so allowances must be made for this. Evolution has

allowed male hands to exert a grip of up to 100 pounds (45kg)

for actions such as tearing, gripping, carrying, throwing and

hammering.

Remember that the handshake evolved as a gesture to say

hello or goodbye or to seal an agreement so it always needs to

be warm, friendly and positive.

How to Disarm a Power Player

The Palm-Down Thrust is reminiscent of the Nazi salute and
is the most aggressive of all handshakes because it gives the
receiver little chance of establishing an equal relationship. This
handshake is typical of the overbearing, dominant person who
always initiates it, and their stiff arm with palm facing down-
wards forces the receiver into the submissive position.