[ ]Mapping the Familythose for whom he would mourn, a phrase understood by the Bavli as
requiring a person to behave like a mourner while in the presence of
close relatives who are mourning their own loss.^89
The expectation that one will behave like a mourner in certain cir-
cumstances when one is not formally designated a mourner is exempli-
fied by the behav ior required of a married man or woman whose spouse
has suffered the loss of a parent. We learn in the continuation of our
sugya that
[a] man whose father-in-law or mother-in-law has died cannot
compel his wife to use cosmetics. Instead, he overturns his bed
{a sign of mourning} and behaves like a mourner with [his wife].
Similarly a woman whose father-in-law or mother-in-law has died
does not use cosmetics, but instead overturns her bed and behaves
like a mourner with [her husband].^90
This discussion of the laws of mourning recognizes the existence of
multiple levels, or concentric circles, of “family.” The first and closest level
comprises a person’s parents, siblings, spouse, and children, the mem-
bers of his two nuclear families. The second level, once-removed from
t he nuclea r fa m i ly, is made up of t he ot her people i n t he nuclea r fa m i l ies
of which the individual’s closest relatives are members. Finally, through
a spouse, an individual becomes an adjunct or honorary member of an-
other family, the family of his or her in-laws. Through his wife, a man’s
in-laws become his secondary kin, and he may be expected to mourn
them, or at least to share his wife’s mourning. This quasi-mourning
is a sign of respect for his wife’s attachment to her parents and is not
extended to his wife’s siblings.
Leviticus of fers a na r row const r uct of fa m i ly, or at lea st proposes d is-
tinctions between close family and extended family. It also leaves open
the question of whether women cease to be members of their family of
origin upon marriage and become part of their husband’s clan. The priest
does not mou r n for h is sister once she ma r r ies, i mply i ng t hat she becomes
part of her husband’s family and ceases to be a member of her family of
origin. However, if this is the case, why does Leviticus fail to mention
the wife as one of the individuals for whom the priest must mourn? If a
woman leaves her family of origin upon marriage, should she not be con-
sidered part of her family by marriage and be mourned by her husband