Levirate Marriage and the Family in Ancient Judaism

[  ]

From Wife to Widow and Back Again

precedes the ritual of halitza, the Bavli describes the “advice” given to a
levir deciding whether to choose levirate or halitza:

“They summon [the levir]” (Deut. 25:8) — they and not their

representative — “and they speak to him” — giving advice that

is appropriate to [his situation]. If he is young and [the levirate

widow] is old, or if he is old and [the levirate widow] is young, they

say to him, “What business have you with this young woman?”

or “What business have you with this old woman? Go find a wife

suitable for yourself and do not bring trouble into your house.” 88

This advice is directed at the levir and couched in terms of his happiness.
At the same time, the same factors that might make a marriage “unsuit-
able” for the levir might make it less than desirable for the yevama as
well. The language of the Bavli suggests that the sages see no benefit in
forcing a young woman into marriage with a much older man.^89
The Yerushalmi is even more explicit in its willingness to discourage
levirate marriage in certain situations:

a. If he is old, they say to her, “What do you need with an old man?”

b. If she is old, they say to him, “What do you need with an old

woman?”

c. If she is young and he is old, they say to him, “She is young and

will disdain you.”

d. If he is young and she is old, they say to her, “He is young and will

disdain you.

e. If he wants [to marry her] but she does not want [to marry him],

we listen to her.

f. If she wants [to marry him] and he does not want [to marry her],

we listen to him.

g. The general principle is that we listen to the one who objects [to

the marriage].

h. If they both want [to marry despite the age difference] — a case

came before R. Yose, and he said, “Even [though you are in

agreement], put her away! {Despite the willingness of the yevama

to marry the levir, R. Yose urged the levir to submit to halitza.}^90

Rabbi Yose sees a significant age difference as an impediment to mar-
riage, even when the couple does not. His exhortation may also reflect