Because the Puritans took marriage very seriously they also recognized the
great importance of guarding it from temptations that could destroy or weaken it.
First, they placed a strong emphasis upon the appropriateness of behavior within a
given context. Intimacy and sexual expressions were not for the public eye. Gouge
once again draws upon Genesis 26:8 and comments that Isaac and Rebecca had
enjoyed themselves in private and then adds, “[m]uch greater liberty is granted to man
and wife when they are lone, then in company.”^103 This relates to his warning about
the danger of excessive sex.^104 Similarly Perkins warns couples that, “excesse in lusts
is no better than plaine adulterie before God.”^105 Finally, there was a constant
warning against adultery and importance of commitment to your partner. Gouge, who
again reveals the most progressive Puritan stance in addressing these matters, may
once again be surprising. He argues that while the Western Catholic Church placed
the primary responsibility on the woman for avoiding adultery he believes that
biblically both couples are equally responsible, but then he adds, that man should be
punished more than the woman since he is required to set a higher example.^106 Gouge
understood that one of the best ways to prevent adultery is “that husband and wife
mutually delight each in other, and maintaine a pure and fervent love betwixt
themselves, yielding that due benevolence one to another which is warranted and
sanctified by Gods Word, and ordained of God for this particular end.”^107 As a result,
some critics upbraid the Puritans for their strict boundaries regarding sexuality.
However, Belden Lane’s perceptive comments resonate more accurately with the
integrity of the Puritan understanding of marriage and sex. He writes, “[t]his is why
(^103) Gouge, Domesticall (^) Duties (^) , 393, cf. 280.
(^104) Gouge, Domesticall Duties, 224-5.
(^105) Perkins, Christian Oeconomie, 113. cf. Frye, “Puritanism on Conjugal Love,”
150106 - 152.
(^107) Gouge, Gouge, Domesticall DutiesDomesticall Duties, 221. cf. Whately, , 224. Bride-Bush (1623), 30.^