THE CAREER NOVELIST
is another. No one wants to work with an author who becomes excit-
ed, even furious, over every bad review or imagined slight.
"My novel combines the terror of Stephen King, the suspense of Tom Clancy,
the glitz of Judith Krantz, and the romance of Danielle Steel! It will dazzle mys-
tery fans and history buffs alikeV
Any idea what sort of novel this might be? I certainly do not
know. This author has overcompared. No novel could be all that is
claimed; or, if it is, I suspect it will prove something of a mess.
Underlying this pitch is not an excess of ego, but an excess of
humility. This author has decided that you cannot fight city hall. If
publishers want commercial product, he is damn well going to give
it to them. The problem is that his pitch is confusing.
Ironically, the author using this pitch may be following some oft-
given advice: Compare your novel to others like it. Good advice, but it is
also a good idea to keep such comparisons simple, otherwise your
prospects may wonder why you are trying so hard.
'"Believe me, I am your dream client! No one will work harder for you than
me!" I will say this, this author has at least grasped a fundamental of
my business: I need not only good writing, but diligent authors who
can produce novels on a regular basis.
If overeagerness was the only fault here, I would overlook it. Almost
without fail, however, this type of author also offers me a menu of
options. He has two, three, four—possibly more—novels in his draw-
er waiting to be dusted off, rewritten, polished to a high sheen. And he
has tons of ideas. All he needs is my input and expertise to turn these
projects into sure-fire winners. Together we'll soar to the top!
What is worrisome about this situation? It should be obvious:
not only has this go-getter failed to sell his fiction in the past, he
now hopes I will rescue his many mediocre projects. Not a cheerful
prospect! Mind you, I like to work hard. And giving editorial advice
to my clients is part of my job.
This author, though, is suggesting a fire-everything-and-see-what-hits
approach. Some agents may like that, but in my experience a focused
strategy works better for most writers—sharp-shooting, if you will.
What is really going on underneath this pitch? Possibly this
author is only expressing his hope of becoming a full-time novelist;
however, he may also be revealing a tendency to let others do his