PC Gamer - UK (2022-04)

them one-by-one with the aid of the shovel I grabbed

from the store, but that’s not an option now. Despite my

exhaustion, I’m forced to lead them away from the house

before doubling back on myself and sneaking back to bed.

The next few days pass in a blur of productivity. More

furrows are dug. Seeds are sown, watered, and heaped

with fertiliser. Furniture is disassembled and turned into

barricades for unused doors and windows. But even with

my home protected and my future food in the ground, it’ll

take two weeks for my first crop to come in. With each

crucial trip back to Riverside for more food, I return to

find that something else has gone wrong; during one trip,

the water is cut off; during another, the electricity goes,

removing my ability to cook or refrigerate food. Now, even

when my crops come in, I’ll have no way to keep them

from rotting. With every journey, the cupboards full of

canned goods become increasingly appealing.

As it turned out, however, Branch wouldn’t be tempted

for long. After one successful trip, in which I find more

seeds and extra fertiliser, I take a hubristic gamble on a

couple of foraged field mushrooms. Heading to sleep with

a pleasantly full stomach, my condition deteriorates

rapidly. I woke up just in time to expire – with an unlikely

spray of blood – on the floor of my bedroom.

(WOOD)CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK

So it was that Leaf’s grandson, Log, came to be.

Spawning even further away from the family home than

Branch did, it takes almost a full day to get there, by

which time I’m hungry, thirsty, and tired. Before I can

attend to my needs, however, I must lay my father to

rest. I take everything but his underwear off his corpse,

and bury him in the chicken run.

I wake up the next morning to rain. The torrential

downpour drenches the soil, sating my thirsty plants. I

jump into action, digging new furrows so that Log can

sow the seeds that Branch discovered on his final

expedition. Carrots and potatoes join my broccoli and

impressive cabbage crop. I place all the receptacles I can

find outside, littering the ground with buckets, cooking

pans – even a lone mug – to retain as much water as

possible. During the downpour, I notice my first crop has

come in – I pull ten cabbages from the ground, and

immediately begin feasting on them.

To keep them fresh, my best option is to cook them. I

make a campfire out of the remains of the furniture I took

apart, but to light it I need a spark. I’m most likely to find

matches or a lighter in Riverside, so with the rain cleared

and my pockets full of cabbage, I head out.

My decision not to kill zombies has always made

these trips a little more dangerous, but up until now I’ve

been able to stay safe (Leaf’s misfortune

notwithstanding). A closed door is usually enough to

hold back even a pretty impressive crowd of the undead

long enough for me to dash inside, collect some food and

make a break for it before trying again at the next place.

Now that I need specific items, however, I need to search

the entire house rather than simply raiding the kitchen.

It’s soon clear that with zombies pounding on every door,

there’s no time to perform a thorough sweep of Riverside,

so I give up and head off in another direction, hoping for

somewhere a little more peaceful.

VEGETABLENNUI

It’s a poor strategy. Any ‘fresh’ food I find is now rotten,

and the few farmhouses I uncover are empty of any

ZOMB-ME

An apocalyptic earth warrior’s most

important personality traits

PACIFIST

Having

sworn off

violence

against zombies, a

trait that limits your

effectiveness with

weaponry is a good

way to earn bonuses.

INCONSPICUOUS

If one false

move can

lead to an

hours-long pursuit

by a tenacious

zombie, it pays to try

and keep a low

profile.

CLAUSTROPHOBIC

You should

be so keen

to sleep

under the stars that

the thought of

getting into a real

bed should bring

them out in a sweat.

HIKER

A life on the

trail helps

make sure

you can find some

tasty food to eat

wherever you are.

GARDENER

Some extra

farming

stats are

crucial when you’re

trying to maximise

cabbage production.

SUNDAY DRIVER

I never even

touched a

car, and this

offered me a free

skill point if I swore

to drive safe.

alternatives. I spend a night echoing

Leaf, sleeping on the wooden floor

of a run-down outbuilding. I

discover a generator, which would

have been the best way of keeping

my crops fresh were it not just as

reliant on petrol as the cars I’ve

sworn not to use, or if I knew

enough about electricity to plug it

into my house. I stay alive, mostly

thanks to the cabbages that I

collected before I left, but those are

making Log very unhappy, so it’s a

mixed blessing when I return home

• largely empty-handed – to find
  half my crop has rotted in the
  ground, but the other half has borne
  dozens more seeds.
  It’s clear I have enough
  cruciferous vegetables to keep me
  alive for a long time, but it’s around
  this point where I start to wonder

PERSONAL ADVENTURES IN GAMES

DIARY

This is roughly where my

cabbage-related

excitement peaked.