hō'i na mṛṣā dēvariṣi bhāṣā. umā sō bacanu hṛdayam̐ dhari rākhā. 4.
upajē'u siva pada kamala sanēhū. milana kaṭhina mana bhā sandēhū. 5.
‘The great sage’s words can’t go in vain’—Uma was convinced of this and had firmly
established his words (regarding her future husband) in her heart. (4)
This inspired a natural affection for Lord Shiva and devotion for his lotus feet
in her heart. But since it was very difficult to attain the Lord, she had her doubts. (5)
[Note—Once again we see that Uma has not discarded her natural habit to have
‘doubts’, even in the words of great sages. In her previous life as Sati it was the
character that led her to her ruin—(i) she knew that Lord Shiva’s words cannot be
false but still she had doubted them regarding the divinity of Lord Ram (refer: Doha
no. 51 along with its preceding Chaupai line nos. 3-8), and (ii) she had doubted the
wisdom of Shiva’s advice when the Lord had tried to persuade her not to go to her
father’s place without an invitation, especially when he harbours ill-will against her
husband (refer: Doha no. 61—to Doha no. 62).
But there is a perceptible difference here. In her previous birth as Sati, when she
had doubts she had insisted on doing what pleased her. For instance, she went ahead
to test the authenticity of Lord Ram inspite of her husband Lord Shiva telling him that
Lord Ram was not an ordinary human, and later on she had gone to her father’s home
to attend the fire sacrifice inspite of Lord Shiva advising her that it would give her
sorrow.
This was not so in her present birth as Uma though she still had the habit of
having ‘doubts’. When she learnt that her husband would be someone with the unique
characters that matched that of Lord Shiva, she did feel that it is a far-fetched idea
because it is ‘very difficult to attain Lord Shiva’ but ‘she believed in Narad’s words’.
She did not doubt his words par-se, but only did not understand how it would
materialise—that was her only doubt. But since she firmly believed in Narad’s
words—that what he said can’t be in vain, she went out to make all efforts to put it
into practice: she did severe Tapa, and she never got distracted from her chosen path.
This will be clear as we read on further.
Uma had started treating Narad as her ‘Guru’ or moral preceptor and guide. It
was he who had shown her the way ahead for her future, albeit in a veiled term. It
was on his words that she relied firmly and decided to do severe Tapa to attain Lord
Shiva (refer: Baal Kand, Chaupai line no. 1 that precedes Doha no. 73, and Chaupai
line no. 1 that follows this Doha). Since it is wise to have a firm faith in the words of
one’s guru, and a great sage of the exalted stature of Narad is no less than a guru,
Uma succeeded in her mission. She has clearly affirmed her faith in Narad and his
words in Ram Charit Manas, Baal Kand, Chaupai line nos. 5-8 that precede Doha no.
80.
Refer also to “Shiva Puran”, 8/14.]
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jāni ku'avasaru prīti durā'ī. sakhī ucham̐ga baiṭhī puni jā'ī. 6.
Realising that the time was not proper to openly express her affection and devotion
for Lord Shiva that had sprouted in her heart after she had heard the words of Narad,
Uma conealed her emotions within her heart, and went to sit on the lap of one of her
dear friends^1. (6)
[Note—^1 Sitting on the lap of her friend is just a figure of speech to indicate that Uma
was very young in age at the time, and this ‘friend’ perhaps was her maid so close to
her that she treated the latter as one of her dearest friends.]