156 the rice diet renewal
briefl y, usually as newborns adored by our mothers, we naturally
seek this ultimate love, on some level, for the rest of our lives. It
is as if we are love - seeking missiles. Often we don ’ t recognize this
need for love and thus attempt to get this ecstasy from other sub-
stitutes, such as alcohol, drugs, our favorite comfort foods, or from
relationships that had familiar vibrations or a neurotic resonance
with our family of origin. Developing spiritual health and a reliable
connection to the unconditional love within us is a very personal
journey and is, of course, different for everyone.
A big part of my healings has been seeking and committing to
relationships with others who believe in a spiritual discipline and
are coming from their hearts or from the ultimate source of love
and truth, thus are willing conduits. Most of the people I have
sought for spiritual direction are grounded in love; they are not
exempt from sin but rather seek the love of God, spend time
immersed in their holy scriptures, the pursuit of truth, and prayer
and have the desire to share the fullness of their hearts and pass
it on.
Because I was not raised in the Catholic tradition, I did not prac-
tice confessing my sins to a spiritual elder. In fact, getting really
honest with myself and others about my error - based thoughts, then
my subsequent obsessive feelings, fi rst began in an Adult Children
of Alcoholics meeting. (This is a free confi dential group available
to people with and without faith; it is internationally renowned for
assisting those with addictions of any type and is not limited to
only those with alcoholic parents.) So pray to be led to a group or
a spiritually mature and trustworthy person who will listen to your
truth and pray for your healing.
In addition to, or in place of, a more confessional approach, you
can also spend some quiet, refl ective time with yourself for the
same purpose. Set aside twenty minutes for spiritual refl ection.
You may want to start with a few minutes of centering prayer,
then journalize any thoughts that surface about previous actions
you performed that were unconscious, ignorant, and error - based.
As you connect with your regret or shame, remember that you
are communicating with the only consistent unconditionally loving