amazing, miraculous, and extraordinary healing 227
have shown that I have a loci, or an abnormal change in my brain,
since a viral encephalitis – like episode fi ve years prior. Although
it was not painful, I felt it to be undesirable and wished that it
was not there. She went on to ask me numerous questions, such
as, “ What feelings or thoughts are arising from your noticing this
stakelike intrusion in your brain? ”
I saw the same memories pop up that had occurred just before
the last time my encephalitis condition came on, such as the over-
whelming feeling that I couldn ’ t do enough to create the changes
I wanted in my world. I couldn ’ t change the fact that my mother
was dying a slow, painful, and humiliating death, and I couldn ’ t
change a business decision that I realized had been costly, in more
ways than one. I felt like all of a sudden I realized that my brain
condition had to happen to stop my brain from feeling so over-
whelmed, because I could not do enough to change my situation.
My brain could not accept that these things were unfolding just as
they were intended to do, and that even though I didn ’ t want either
of these painful occurrences to happen, much less to continue for
so long, they were there to teach me to let go and let God.
I felt as if my brain could not change gears and move beyond the
belief that I simply had to try harder. Suddenly, I understood that
I needed to move into a spiritual gear of acceptance and grace, and
that if I would not do so myself, my omnipotent Creator would
unplug my circuitry for a while. It was very interesting that this viral
encephalitis – like condition has occurred twice, fi ve years apart,
and that this was my fi ve - year anniversary! It almost seemed like at
that moment, I was able to understand or catch it before I created
a need to relive it again! Toward the end of my session, Carolyn
asked again how I felt in my body. I ’ m incapable of describing in
words the blissful wave of unconditional love that swept over me,
more intense than I had felt in decades; but that is what I enjoyed
that day. I also felt the presence of my grandfather, who had died
when I was six weeks old; I sensed his prayerful intercession,
knowing that he too had always struggled to do more.
Healing at the root of a problem really defi es description,
because we all have such different physical, mental, emotional,