healing your heart 79
shift, as a result of my numerous health challenges and healings. In
essence, we greatly improve our chances of healing when we look
to the root source of our pain — whether that be physical (unhealthy
eating habits and inactivity), mental (a negative mind - set, a victim
mentality, or a sense of poverty or scarcity), or emotional (unhealthy
feelings usually stemming from early pain or trauma, which inspired
self - defeating belief systems).
Again, it wasn ’ t until I was healed of a severe crippling joint
disorder that I fully realized that my unhealthy, habitual relation-
ship with an emotion — resentment — had disabled me and had also
healed me in a deep way.
When strangers fi rst hear of my joint disorder, they often assume
that because my mother had numerous types of arthritis, I must
have inherited a genetic propensity for having arthritic problems.
Yet I now know that I unconsciously contributed to my symptoms
of intense joint pain at that time by responding to a cascading
series of events with chronic feelings of resentment. During this
period of my life, I often awoke with clenched fi sts, obviously
unwilling to release my grip on a situation that I was certainly not
in control of, and in ways that were clearly not creating the change
I most desired — which was to be free of pain. I underwent nine
months of inner healing, which consisted of a steady practice of
emotional and spiritual introspection and energy work that included
yoga, meditation, journalizing, and a little work with a 12 - step
Adult Children of Alcoholics group and a psychotherapist. Then I
participated in a weekend retreat on emotional healing facilitated
by Dr. Waldemar “ Wally ” Purcell, the most discerning and gifted
psychotherapist I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. In one
of the afternoon laboratory sessions, during which people shared
openly from their hearts, he asked us to complete the assignment
described for Day 5 (see the next page). Afterward, Wally asked
the group whether anyone cared to participate in a role - playing
experience.
With my typical type A, “ go for all the healing I can get ” approach,
I enthusiastically waved my raised arm around. I thought that role -
playing sounded like fun. I was very clear that I really wanted,