healing your heart 83
at a situation as if you have some power over it, you put yourself in
the driver ’ s seat of your life. Every time you see your power in a sit-
uation, you can take a step forward toward your goals. Conversely,
every time you look at a situation as if you have no authority or say
in the matter, you have no power.
What is the Responsibility Game? It is a way of looking at the
world and a way of living life. The objective of this game is to
achieve your goals. By playing the Responsibility Game, you are
much more successful at having your life be the way you want it
to be. Your game ’ s strategy is determined by the goals you set: you
reach your weight and your health goals, you make more money,
and/or the quality of your relationships go up... whatever you have
prioritized as your game ’ s goals. The game is an easy yet potent way
to make your life turn out the way you want it to.
Like any game, the Responsibility Game has points to score, it
has a way to win, and it has some rules to follow. To earn points in
this game, you make choices that put you in control of your life.
A responsibility choice is choosing a viewpoint about what ’ s hap-
pening that gives you power to affect the situation, rather than feel
powerless about it. You look at what ’ s happening around you and
decide how you feel about it. What will be your attitude about it?
“ My kids are rambunctious today — I ’ m thrilled they are so healthy
and vibrant. ” “ My kids are rambunctious today — they are going to
drive me crazy! ” Once you are conscious of your thoughts and feel-
ings, you can enjoy them, be angered by them, or choose to shift
your attitude.
Laura could have easily seen herself as powerless after the death
of her son, her divorce, and her family ’ s response. At times, her feel-
ings were so strong that she was overwhelmed by them. Playing the
Responsibility Game, however, she knew that her goals were to pro-
vide a safe and loving environment for her family and to save other
teens before they committed suicide. Every day she made choices.
Some days she scored many points, and the children she worked
with received all of her love and caring. Other days she didn ’ t score
many points. Over time, by staying focused on her goals, not only
did she score enough points to heal and expand her family, but she