In May 1952, 1 left Orgonon. My explanation at the time for leaving was that I
wanted to continue my academic education, and my lack of scientific training hindered my
usefulness now that Oranur was so much at the center of the work. These reasons obtained,
but of equal importance was the fact that my own relationship with Reich had deteriorated.
I was not so open with him as earlier and his behavior toward fearfulness was not helpful,
resulting in the destructive interaction described in Chapter 2.
Reich and I parted amicably. I remember waving good-bye to him from my car as
he was working—I undoubtedly thought “fiddling”—with his cloudbuster pipes outside the
Students’ Laboratory. He gave me a hard look, hurt, angry, yet not unfriendly, as if to say:
What about all those fine words and ideals of yours now? Did you really mean them?
It is fashionable to describe Reich as a difficult, even impossible man in his last
years. That is Ilse OllendorfFs point in her biography, and in one sense it was true. For part
of Reich was a bully and he reacted in the same way as he once described the police: Look
them in the eye and they leave you alone; hide and they club you. Once one hid, Reich was
merciless in his accusations, his rages, his demands for various acknowledgments that went
far beyond actual deeds.
However, I like to think that if I had dealt with Reich more openly and courageous-
ly,with a deeper awareness of what he was about, he would have taken criticism with much
better grace. In my experience, no one did what I have in mind. Basically, people either went
along or they left.
Helen MacDonald and Lee Wylie had already left Orgonon. Lois Wyvell stayed on
another year after me, but her intimate relationship with Reich was increasingly difficult. He
was still devoting considerable energy to resolving his relationship with Ilse and had become
more despairing about his loneliness. The winter of 1952-53 was particularly painful. The
Tropps took a long vacation; Eva spent considerable time in Hancock. Of the original group
that had moved to Rangeley with such bright hopes in 1950, only Lois and Ilse remained.
Ilse was out ofcontact with Oranur and Lois was professionally engaged only with matters
concerning the Press. On occasion, Reich would say: “I have no one.” Lois would reply:
“You have Dr.Baker,” and Reich would very tentatively say: “Yes.” Baker and other physi-
cians gave what support they could, but none of them was actively engaged in scientific
work in general or Oranur in particular. At a more personal level, Reich felt really close only
to Peter. On some occasions, Reich would cry and indicate his need to be held and comfort-
ed. Thus by late winter, the combination of Reich’s involvement with Ilse and his general
despair corroded whatever satisfaction there had been between Lois and him, and the rela-
tionship ended.
During the spring of1953,Lois Wyvell became involved with another man, a per-
son who spent some time in Rangeley. Reich, jealous, felt that the man was using his con-
nection with Lois to try to obtain work at Orgonon or otherwise involve himself in orgon-
omy. (Reich frequently felt, sometimes correctly, sometimes incorrectly, that people would
use his assistants to inveigle something from him.) However, he also acknowledged his own
irrational destructive emotions. With some astonishment about his own jealous feelings, he
27 : Personal Life and Other Developments: 1950-1954 377