“Hey y’all, the nurses told me I would find you here –
dead God, woman, what have you done to your hair?”
Aw, shit.
Taz froze mid-spin, and turned to face the newcomer
with an accusing finger. “You.”
A slender man with elaborately styled eyebrows gave a
little bow and a flourish. “Alejandro, the one and only, at
your service. And darling, if I might say so, you could
really use my services right now.”
Taz’s eyes widened in what could only be called fear as
Alejandro pranced over and pulled out her ponytail, fluffing
out her hair to get the full effect. He put a hand over his
heart.
“Hey, it wasn’t my fault they shaved half my head while
I was unconscious, was it?” Taz said, rescuing her elastic
from the stylist. “What the hell are you doing here,
anyway?”
“You are as charming as ever, Lieutenant,” Alejandro
huffed. “I’m here to see the Commander. By special request
- I need to take some measurements.”
Up slowly backed away. Taz turned to him accusingly.
“Hey, thanks for coming by, Alejandro,” Up said weakly.
“Maybe we can talk about this later...” Shut up, shut up,
please shut up.
Alejandro turned back to Taz, his hands on his hips. “I
am working on a hairpiece for the Commander, if you must
know. An extremely specialized piece of work, only a real
artist like myself would be able to handle it.”
Taz looked at Up in bewilderment. “A hairpiece?”
“A moustache!” exclaimed Alejandro. “The greatest
moustache ever recreated. With it, Commander Up will
regain his authority, his manhood – he’ll be twice the
Ranger he was before! And all thanks to me, of course.”
Dead God, man. Can you make it sound any worse?