What Every BODY Is Saying : An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People

96 WHAT EVERY BODY IS SAYING

times, the Chinese, bow out of respect and deference. We show that we
are subservient or of lower status when we automatically assume a bowed
or kowtow position, achieved principally by bending the torso.
For Westerners, kowtowing does not come easily, especially when it is
a conscious act. However, as we expand our horizons and interact with
more and more people from various countries of the Near East and Far
East, it behooves us to learn to bow our torsos slightly, particularly when
meeting those who are elderly and have earned respect. This simple ges-
ture of reverence will be recognized by those whose cultures show defer-
ence by such posture and will confer a social advantage upon those
Westerners willing to demonstrate it (see box 23). Incidentally, eastern
Europeans, especially older ones, still like to click their heels and bow
slightly out of respect. Every time I see this, I think how charming it is

BOX 22: WHY YOU CAN’T STOMACH CERTAIN TOPICS

Did you ever wonder why you get an upset stomach if there is an argu-

ment at the dinner table? When you are upset, your digestive system no

longer has as much blood as it needs for proper digestion. Just as your

limbic system’s freeze, flight, or fight response shunts blood away from

the skin, it likewise diverts blood from your digestive system, sending

blood to your heart and limb muscles (especially the legs) to prepare for

your escape. The upset stomach you feel is a symptom of that limbic

arousal. The next time an argument ensues during a meal, you will recog-

nize the limbic response of distress. A child whose parents fight at the

dinner table really can’t finish his meal; his limbic system has trumped

alimentation and digestion to prepare them for escape and survival. Along

these lines, it is interesting to note how many people vomit after experi-

encing a traumatic event. In essence, during emergencies the body is

saying that there is no time for digestion; the reaction is to lighten the load

and prepare for escape or physical conflict (Grossman, 1996, 67–73).