104 W H A T EVERY BODY IS SAYING
flight or fight, the body attempts to take in as much oxygen as possible,
either by breathing more deeply or by panting. The stressed individual’s
chest is heaving because the limbic brain is saying, “Potential problem—
step up oxygen consumption in case we suddenly have to escape or f ight!”
When you see this type of nonverbal behavior in an otherwise healthy
person, you should consider why he or she is so stressed.
Shoulder ShrugsFull and slight shoulder shrugs can mean a lot in context. When the boss
asks an employee, “Do you know anything about this customer’s com-
plaint?” and the employee answers, “No,” while giving a half shrug,
chances are the speaker is not committed to what was just said. An hon-
est and true response will cause both shoulders to rise sharply and equally.
Expect people to give full (high) shoulder shrugs when they confidently
support what they are saying. There is nothing wrong with saying, “I
don’t know!” while both shoulders rise up toward the ear. As discussed
previously, this is a gravity-defying behavior that normally signifies the
BOX 26: ONE TIME YOU DON’T WANT THE
SHIRT OFF HIS BACKYears ago I witnessed two neighbors verbally sparring over a sprinkler
system that had accidentally sprayed a freshly waxed vehicle. As things
escalated, one of the neighbors started unbuttoning his shirt. It was then
that I knew fists were going to fly. Sure enough, the shirt came off and the
chest bumping began between them. This was a mere precursor to the
punching, which soon followed. It seemed incredible that grown men
would fight over water spots on a car. What was really remarkable, how-
ever, was the chest bumping between the two guys, as though they were
gorillas. It was actually embarrassing to watch them engage in such a lu-
dicrous torso display. It’s just something that shouldn’t happen.