112 W H A T EVERY BODY IS SAYING
sides or they close across our chests. This is a survival tactic that helps pro-
tect the individual when a real or perceived danger is sensed. Take, for in-
stance, the mother who is worried about her son while he is playing with
rougher children. She will often cross her arms and fold them across her
abdomen. She wants to intervene but stands aside and restrains herself by
holding her arms, hoping the play proceeds without injury.
When two people are arguing, they may both engage in this arm-
withdrawal behavior, a very protective behavior of which neither party
may be aware. This restraint has survival value; it protects the body
while presenting a nonprovocative position. In essence, they are holding
themselves back, since extending the arms might be construed as an at-
tempt to strike and injure the other party, causing a fight to ensue.
Self-restraint can assist us not only in dealing with others but also in
dealing with ourselves when we need to be comforted. For instance, in-
juries or pain in the torso and arms often cause us to restrict arm move-
ment in an attempt to self-soothe or pacify. We may withdraw the arms
toward the painful body region. If you have ever experienced severe in-
testinal distress, your arms were most likely drawn to your abdomen for
comfort. At moments like this, the arms don’t move outward; the limbic
system requires that they attend to our needs closer to home.
Restriction of Arm MovementRestriction of arm movements, arm freeze, particularly when it occurs in
children, can sometimes have more sinister implications. In studying indi-
cators of child abuse, it has been my experience that these children will re-
strict their arm movements in the presence of abusive parents or other
predators. This makes perfect survival sense, since all animals, especially
predators, orient toward movement. Instinctively, the abused child learns
that the more he moves, the more likely he is to be noticed, and then poten-
tially targeted by an abuser. So the child’s limbic system instinctively self-
regulates to make sure his arms do not attract attention. Arm-freeze
behavior can serve to warn caring adults, whether teachers, neighbors, rela-
tives, or friends, that a child might be the victim of abuse (see box 28).