What Every BODY Is Saying : An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People

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114 W H A T EVERY BODY IS SAYING


Maybe I just can’t get the FBI out of me, but when I see children at a
playground, I can’t help but glance at their arms to note any bruises or
injuries. Sadly, there is so much child abuse in the world, and during my
training I was instructed to look for the signs of neglect and abuse in
children and others. Not only as a result of my career in law enforce-
ment, but also from my years as a father, I know what falling or bump-
ing bruises look like and where they occur on the body. Bruises received
through abuse are not the same. Their locations and appearance are dif-
ferent, and these differences can be detected by the trained eye.
As previously stated, humans use their arms to defend themselves, a
predictable limbic reaction. Because children use their arms to block
their bodies as their primary means of defense (adults may use objects), a
flailing arm is often the first thing an abusive parent will grab. Parents
who aggressively seize children in this way will leave pressure marks on
the ventral side (the inside) of the arms. Especially if the parent shakes
the child in this position, the marks will be deeper in color (from greater
pressure) and have the larger shape of the adult hand or the elongated
shape of the thumb or fingers.
While physicians and public safety officers routinely see marks such
as this on young victims or patients, many of us are just not aware of
their prevalence or significance. If we all learn to observe children care-
fully and look for the obvious signs of maltreatment, we can all help to
protect innocent children. In saying this, I am not trying to make you
paranoid or unreasonably suspicious, just aware. The more knowledge-
able all caring adults are about the appearance of defense wounds and
other abusive injuries in children, and the more we observe for such inju-
ries, the safer our children will be. We want them to be happy and swing
their arms with joy, not restrain them in fear.
Restricted arm behavior is not limited to children. It can also be seen
in adults for a variety of reasons (see, for example, box 29).
A friend of mine, who was a customs inspector in Yuma, Arizona,
told me that one of the things he noticed at the border was how people
carried their handbags and purses when they came into the country. A
person who was worried about the contents of her handbag—whether

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