128 W H A T EVERY BODY IS SAYING
BOX 33: THE SWAT COMMANDER WHO PUT DOWN HIS ARMSYears ago, I was involved in planning a SWAT operation that was to take
place in Lakeland, Florida. As the mission planner was describing the
operation order, he seemed to have everything covered. His arms were
outstretched over two chairs as he confidently went through the very de-
tailed arrest plan. Suddenly someone asked, “What about the Lakeland
paramedics, have they been contacted?” Instantly the mission planner
withdrew his arms and dropped them between his knees, palms together.
This was a significant change in territorial behavior. He went from domi-
nating a large space to being as narrow as possible, all because he had
not made the necessary arrangements. His confidence level suddenly
vaporized. This is a striking example of how quickly our behaviors ebb
and flow depending on our mood, level of confidence, or thoughts. These
nonverbals occur in real time and immediately transmit data. When we
are confident we spread out, when we are less confident we withdraw.this behavior is that we will remove our arms from the vicinity of our
companion’s arms when the relationship is changing for the worse or
when the individual with whom we are seated (whether a date or a
stranger) is making us feel uncomfortable.
Adornments and Artifacts on the ArmsAround the globe, wealth is often demonstrated through the wearing of
precious items or adornments on the arms. In many parts of the Middle
East, it is still common for women to wear their wealth in the form of
gold rings or bands on their arms, indicating relative worth and status.
Men, too, will wear expensive watches to demonstrate their socioeco-
nomic status or level of wealth. In the 1980s, men in Miami were fanati-
cal about wearing Rolex watches; they were the status symbol du jour
and were ubiquitous among drug traffickers and nouveau riche alike.