What Every BODY Is Saying : An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People

GETTING A GRIP 141

BOX 38: I DON’T GET YOUR POINT

Research with focus groups has shown that a prosecuting attorney needs

to be very careful when pointing at the defendant with the index finger

during opening statements. Jurors don’t like to see such behavior be-

cause, in their view, the prosecutor has not earned the right to point until

he or she has proven the case. It is far better to gesture with an open

hand (palm up) at the defendant than with a finger. Once the case is

proven, the prosecutor can then point at the defendant with the index

finger during closing arguments. This may seem trivial. However, dozens

of surveys with mock jurors have shown they are sticklers on this point.

So I simply tell attorneys not to engage in finger pointing in the courtroom.

As for the rest of us, we should not point fingers when dealing with our

spouses or children, nor with our colleagues at work. Pointing is just plain

offensive.

Be Cautious When Using Preening Behaviors

Involving the Hands

We use our fingers to preen our clothing, hair, and body when we are
concerned with how we look. During courtship, humans engage in in-
creased amounts of preening—not only with regard to our own appear-
ance, but we also groom our mates. Intimacy permits the lover to gently
remove a spot of lint from her male counterpart’s sleeve even as he may
gently dab a spot of food from the corner of her mouth. These behaviors
are also seen between mother and child—not only in humans, but also in
other mammals and in birds—and are indicative of caring and close in-
timacy. When observed within a relationship, the amount of grooming
between the partners is a good barometer of their rapport and the level
of intimacy permitted.
Preening, however, can also create negative perceptions. For ex-
ample, it is rude and disrespectful for one person to preen herself in a