What Every BODY Is Saying : An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People

THE MIND’S CANVAS 193

BOX 54: NOTHING TO SNEER AT

At the University of Washington, researcher John Gottman discovered

during therapy with married couples that if one or both partners sneered,

this was a significant and “potent signal” for predicting the likelihood of a

breakup. Once disregard or contempt has entered the psyche, as indi-

cated by a sneer, the relationship is troubled or even terminal. I have

noted during FBI investigations that suspects will sneer during interviews

when they think they know more than the interviewer or sense that the

officer does not know the full picture. In either circumstance, a sneer is a

distinct sign of disrespect or contempt for another person.

figure 80). A sneer can be very illuminating with regard to what is go-
ing on in a person’s mind and what that may portend (see box 54).

Tongue Displays

There are numerous tongue signals that can provide us with valuable
insights into a person’s thoughts or moods. When we are stressed, caus-
ing our mouth to be dry, it is normal to lick our lips to moisten them.
Also, during times of discomfort, we tend to rub our tongues back and
forth across our lips to pacify and calm ourselves. We may stick out the
tongue (usually to the side) as we focus assiduously on a task (for example
when basketball great Michael Jordan goes up for a dunk) or we may
poke out our tongue to antagonize someone we dislike or to show disgust
(children do this all the time).
When an individual displays other mouth cues associated with stress,
such as lip biting, mouth touching, lip licking, or object biting, it further
bolsters a careful observer’s belief that the person is insecure (see figure
81). Additionally, if people touch and/or lick their lips while pondering
their options, particularly when they take an unusual amount of time,
these are signs of insecurity.