What Every BODY Is Saying : An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People

(Brent) #1
THE MIND’S CANVAS 199

I was whistling while walking down the hallway of an art museum. It
seems that whistling indoors is a no-no in Russia. In Montevideo, I was
among a group that was sanctioned with squinting eyes followed by a
dismissive turn of the face away. Apparently our group was talking too
loudly and locals did not appreciate our boisterous humor. In the United
States, because the country is so large and diverse, different locales will
have different disapproval displays; what you see in the Midwest is differ-
ent from what you see in New England or New York.
Most disapproval displays show on the face and are among the earliest
messages we learn from our parents and siblings. Those who care for us
will give us “that face” to let us know if we are doing something wrong
or getting out of line. My father, who is very stoic, had “the look” down
pat; all he had to do was glance at me sternly and that was enough. It was
a look that even my friends feared. The man never had to castigate us
verbally. He just gave us that unmistakable glance, and that was it.
For the most part, we are fairly adept at understanding disapproval
cues, although at times they can be very subtle (see box 55). Recognizing
censure is a key to learning the unwritten rules and conventions of a
country or area, as it conveys when we have broken them. These signals
help us know when we are being rude. Undeserved and inappropriate
displays of disapproval or censure, however, are likewise rude. One non-
verbal of disapproval too commonly seen in America is rolling of the
eyes. This is a sign of disrespect and must not be tolerated, especially
from subordinates, staff, or children.
Facial displays of disgust or disapproval are very honest and are reflec-
tive of what is going on in the brain. Disgust likely registers primarily on the
face because this is the part of our anatomy that was adapted, over millions
of years, to reject spoiled food or anything else that might harm us. Al-
though these facial displays may range from muted to obvious—whether
confronted with negative or displeasing information or when tasting bad
food—as far as the brain is concerned, the sentiment is the same. “I don’t
like this, get it away from me.” No matter how slight the grimace or look of
distaste or displeasure, we can be confident in interpreting these behaviors
accurately because they are governed by the limbic system (see box 56).

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